He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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