I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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