normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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