i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
