As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
