Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
