used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
