i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
