My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
only if we run a train.
done.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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