Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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