D3 body, D1 cock
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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