Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
should my penis look like a turkey
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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