Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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