I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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