3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
