ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
