You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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