I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Randomize
