two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
