How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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