Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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