Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
