Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
