Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
