and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
