Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
