so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
