3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize