I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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