okay pat passed out under dana's car
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
