addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
