Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
