he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
