I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
