how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
