this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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