i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
