ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
