I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
