At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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