I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
