no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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