i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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