...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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