Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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