i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
