just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
