did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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