from now on my penis is your penis
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
