Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
