There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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