yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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