Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
