i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
