seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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