So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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